NEGATIVE SELF TALK

and how that predicts your future

How we speak to ourselves inevitably sets the standard for how we allow others to speak to us too, and it creates the level at which we operate. If we speak to ourselves in a negative way, you then allow others to do the same as you justify their remarks because you believe it to be true. If you are the first to negatively criticise yourself, you then predict a negative outcome by expecting it. As if though the negative outcome is ok because it's expected.

Now, we repeat comments to ourselves day in, day out about every task we have or set ourselves. Regardless of what we do, we talk to ourselves - more so the more important the task ahead. Imagine those comments are all negative with an emphasis on a negative outcome - a failure. You are telling yourself "you'll try, but" - it will likely end in failure. You will go for it but "it's ok if" it's a failure. As much as those are "plausible" outcomes, you are effectively setting yourself up for that result - and ONLY that result. 

In a parallel universe "what if" it all succeeds. What if you start telling yourself "I am going to make it work" because it's important. What if you said "I need this to work" because it has to. When your "if it fails" becomes "if it fails, then" - you've got a plan and a backup because your why and need for success outgrew your excuses. Setting the standard as "I will" instead of "hopefully" and "I'm going to do it" vs "I'm going to try" effectively removes the negative outcome altogether. 

That isn't to say you won't fail. Failure in life is inevitable. However, failure is not the end, it is merely a part of the path to success - one does not exist without the other. A failure along the way is merely a stepping stone which forces you to change course or tactic. It is a reminder we can do better.

The way we talk to ourselves sets the standard for it all. Speak to yourself like an ally, like the teammate you have to get to where you need to go. In doing so you will expect the same from those around you and the negativity that exists in your own head as well as that around you will all simmer away. You start creating an environment which is positive and focused on striving for those goals. 

The pressure of failing dies down when you start facing it head on - that failure is really a sign you're making progress. Accepting it as part of the process makes starting that much easier! 

So like me, a trier for life, take on those challenges knowing you will fail along the way.